New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
