you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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