dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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