I hate all girls vehemently.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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