turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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