why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You ate ashes out of my bong
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
