beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
