1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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