i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
