Having a random hookup so left but love u
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize