I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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