does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
