Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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