i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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