Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
