he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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