when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
