Need sex. Gaining weight.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
did i walk over a car last night?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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