I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I did not marry a roomba.
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