It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
