I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
