My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
