well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
