I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
