Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
