You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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