is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
