My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
