You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize