remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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