You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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