I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
