; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
