I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
