dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
