i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
