I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
