we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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