I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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