I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
