We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
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Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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