her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize