i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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