just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
