You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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