Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize