Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
