I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
