And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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