am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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