David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you inspire me to be a worse person
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
