Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
