there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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