bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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