I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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