the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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