I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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