do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize