I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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