I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
