my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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