if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My life is pants optional.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize