So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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